BFW - TISM

Christina Aguilera:

Some dead-eyed child bride has learnt to dance — BFW

Sisqo:

One pack of vicious blacks hates another — BFW

Moby:

A geography teacher bought a blues record — BFW

Radiohead:

Redefining the very idiom that is modern music — BFW

Psy-trance:

Big Beat. Prog House. Old Skool. Hard house. Nu-skool breaks — BFW

London:

The 500 most snooty people think something’s important — BFW

Acting in a movie:

Walk to the mark. Say the line. Do it again — BFW

Video clips:

The revolving moose-head shot cost quarter of a mil — BFW

Pay T. V:

Gilligan’s Island. Rugby. Gilligan’s Island again — BFW

The Internet:

More crap at your fingertips than on them — BFW

Big Fucking Whoopee.

Big Fucking Whoopee.

Big Fucking Whoopee.

Whoopee.

Big Fucking Whoopee.

Big Fucking Whoopee.

Big Fucking Whoopee.

Whoopee.

Georgio Armani:

Makes dresses. Makes more dresses — BFW

The Queen Mother:

Fucked the right guy. Lots of money. Drunkard8 — BFW

Vegans:

Deeply committed people. Better than you and me — BFW

Stock market:

Lots of guys with rat-cunning ripping each other off — BFW

BMW:

You hop in this car, then you drive it — BFW

Drive it! Drive!

Big Fucking Whoopee. Big Fucking Whoopee. Big Fucking Whoopee. Whoopee.

Big Fucking Whoopee. Big Fucking Whoopee. Big Fucking Whoopee. Whoopee.

Big Fucking Whoopee. Big Fucking Whoopee. Big Fucking Whoopee. Whoopee.

Big Fucking Whoopee. Big Fucking Whoopee. Big Fucking Whoopee. Whoopee.

Big Fucking Whoopee. Big Fucking Whoopee. Big Fucking Whoopee. Whoopee.

Big Fucking Whoopee. Big Fucking Whoopee. Big Fucking Whoopee. Whoopee.

Big Fucking Whoopee. Big Fucking Whoopee. Big Fucking Whoopee. Whoopee.

Big Fucking Whoopee. Big Fucking Whoopee. Big Fucking Whoopee. Whoopee.

You wanna know about Big Fuckin' Whoopee?

Let me tell you about Big Fuckin' Whoopee!

Skateboardin' that’s Big Fuckin' Whoopee

Finnegans Wake, 9 BFW

That long-haired choreographer on Pop Stars who looks like the Paddle Pop Lion

and who was just so lovin' being on camera and getting the chance to bully a

group of 20 year olds, BFW mate, in a big way

Fat Boy Slim Dusty

Chefs, especially celebrity chefs, but all chefs really. Good ones, I mean,

the ones with the snooty attitude who think what this world really needs is

another braised quat quat in a rococo of couscous. And people who like all that

shit like John Hindle11 and Claude Forrell12 and all those food critics

By Christ, when your life’s speciality is forcing another morsel of over-glazed

lamb shank down your oily, globular, over-opinionated gullet, when,

of all the things in the world men are called to do. Of all the vocations of

love and adventure. Of all the trials of the emotions and amongst all the

voyages of spirit mankind can embark upon, when, given this whole universe of

possible callings, the one you choose is to sit on your crapulent crack and

lazily whine about someone else’s cooking, that’s when you know you are at the

very acme of the BFW shit heap

Ian Forrester, BFW

Abstract Expressionism, BFW

BF — fucking — W to all of them

DVD players — till they can record — that’s fucking BFW

Every article about feminism in the Age, BFW

Acland Street, Brunswick Street, I mean, you’re still just walking up and down

the fucking road. I can do that in fucking Rowville too

Fucking sick of this, BFW to the fucking lot of it, fucking BF fucking W

Actually, now I fucking talk about it, Teenagers are fucking BFW! Tae Bo!

Live theatre, all of which is fucking crap. The Grand Prix, golf,

Mietta’s death, tap dancin', harp playing, Federation, Cathy fucking Freeman

and every other fucking track and field athlete, BFW to the lot of ya

Tom and Nicole!

Tom and Nicole Brown, I mean, whose parents moved into the house next door to

ours for six months, back when I was nine and I played with, uh,

played with them after school for a while but I never saw them again after

their parents split up and they had to sell the house. That Tom and Nicole,

Tom and Nicole Brown are obviously B… BFW

Not the Tom and Nicole, whose similar marital troubles are terribly vital to me

and us all

One thing I would like to know

Why is it amongst groovers is all the go

But that same crew slag off Bardot

Who writes the songs? That’s the thing

Any clotheshorse can learn to sing

's albums are eponymous but the songwriters stay anonymous

Naughty by Nature, the Back Street Boys, Boys 2 Men, who makes the noise?

Sisqó, Snoop Dogg, less heard than seen

writing lyrics ain’t nothing — except these I mean

Who are the ugly bastards hidden away

Who write the tunes that get air play

Listen I don’t want to trouble ya

But if you don’t write the songs

B — F — Double-Ya